In a Rut

So here I am, writing at 8pm, finally using that 'golden dust' of free evening time, rather than falling asleep. I've discovered that one trick to keep myself awake is to grab the laptop as soon as Isaac is asleep and thus take advantage of the 'backlight' or whatever they call it, which helps you to stay awake. A tip for all mums with toddlers/babies who want to stay awake (especially after nursing) and grab some free time.

One thing I want to write about is being in a bit of a rut. Another thing is not spending enough quality time with Grace. And I think the two are linked.

So, after my recent surge of inspiration to get organised, I find myself in a rut. I've somewhat exhausted the supply of Youtube videos out there which tackle organisation, or perhaps I've overdosed on them. Either way, I'm not sure how many more I can watch which will give me more and exciting new tips. I'm finding it suddenly harder to stick to my resolve to be more organised and have the house more streamlined. 

On the other hand, I'm also struggling to spend quality time with Grace properly because I keep thinking about all the ways in which I could finally get on top of the house and all the things that need doing. I'm sitting in bed thinking about adding gold to the feet of the flamingoes on the wallpaper (my sister's suggestion) and how I could upcycle the drawers and how I simply must change the curtains. Meanwhile Grace is watching an extra episode of Puffin Rock (her new favourite) and I'm neither adding the gold feet to the flamingoes nor spending time with Grace.

 I feel like it's getting harder and harder to remember that my primary job is parent and the secondary job is homemaker, or whatever you want to call it. It is a daily discipline to remember why it's so important to just sit with Grace and do little things, no matter really what they are. She just wants to spend time with me. A few times today she's made requests to do things together - play Sylvanian Families, finish reading 'Rhyming Rabbit', do a Peter Rabbit story, build a den - and I'm always finishing a job, or asking if she'd like to do the job with me. I feel like I'm getting my priorities all wrong. 

In the meantime, Grace is getting more and more challenging and I can't help but see the link between that and me not spending proper time with her. Yesterday (or was it this morning?) she actually told me she'd decided she was going to be rude for the day. Wow, we are entering the territory of premeditated rudeness. And arguing with me over most things is fast becoming Gracie's daily habit. I can't help wonder if it's because we're not doing enough together of the things she wants to do. I need to get out of my rut.

I can't help feeling I've created this 'Threenager' myself.

On a totally different topic, I'd highly recommend looking into the 21 strategies for making a new habit and the Four Tendencies, according to Gretchen Rubin. She's great!And the podcast she does with her sister, Elizabeth, is really heartwarming. It's a tonic in a desert-like day.