Losing the Nap/my Sanity

I am coming to realise how much I rely on the midday nap. As exhaustion from the last two late nights kicks in, I am starting to feel silently apoplectic, as I have come home after admitting defeat at trying to get G asleep in her push chair. Not such a big deal, some may say. Not such a big deal???? I ask. The thought that G could drop her midday nap is terrifying. I cannot , just cannot, imagine doing a 12-hour shift with two small children without that blissful one-and-half to two hours' silence, when I lie back and settle into my pillow, letting my thoughts drift about for a bit, before I read or write. And just when I'd decided to put this time to really good use and start writing this blog, too?? No!!! So it's now nearing the dreaded 3 0'clock mark, which only means one thing: either Grace naps now and wakes late, thus staying awake until about 10pm (Maybe M could deal with that one), or she drops her nap, I get no break... and ... I encounter the 5-6pm Giant Tantrum, because Grace is exhausted and can't do anything without tears and meltdowns, including eating a proper dinner. Which would lead to a dinner of some kind of rice cakes concoction and then Cranky Pants tomorrow, as going without her nap makes Gracie moody the next day too. 

I do know people who have Dropped the Nap. They say you get your evenings back. But what about my sanity?  I need that two hours in the day, which is starting to dwindle down to one... Would I swap it for more free time in the evening? No. So I'm writing this downtairs in the kitchen as Grace lies upstairs in my room on my bed (is there nothing left?) chirping away in her too-hyper-to-sleep state. I am making a cup of tea to accompany this rant. As I've come to rely on the rant as one of my sanity-savers, too, now And I can hear Grace crying that she is 'still hungry'. Perhaps that is because she rejected the haddock, with creamy cheese filling, fishcake. And the ice cream did not work as a subsitute. 

What to do? 10 to 3. Decision time looming. To sleep or not to sleep? That is the question. I have a strong urge to eat a second bar of chocolate - I am sooo tired - but I am resisting and finishing off Grace's barely-touched fish cake as I type this, resentful and full of sugar cravings. 

On a lighter note, something that did bring a smile to my face this morning was Gracie entering the bathroom while I was in the shower (no, there really is nothing left), in her swimming costume. 'I'm going to be wearing this today, Mummy', she announced. She then added two of baby Isaac's vests and a pair of his shorts, which looked like hot pants on her. It was a sight to behold.

So. Note to self: don't bother getting all the timings right and taking both children out at optimum nap-time to get them to sleep if you have attempted to feed one a fish cake prior to this, so they are still alert and hungry at 3pm. Right, I am going to try and go to the rescue with a banana.

* * * 

3.45pm and Gracie finally admitted Defeat to Sleep. What kind of an evening are we in for now, I wonder?

Oh, and I popped back to get that second bar of chocolate after all. Only to open the pantry door and find... that it's 70% cocoa. Ugh. What's the point? I may as well eat an apple. I'll just have the one piece, then.